Sunday {a baby fashion + resolution post}

Every Sunday I am sitting in church and I get this overwhelming sense of determination for the week. I don't know if it's just because my heart is focused on what's true and right and I'm not entertaining thoughts of failure but I feel like I can just go out and conquer whatever comes my way in the next few days. Or maybe it's because I always put a little extra into my Sunday look ... I've always thought it was important ... So I feel better about myself rather than the days where I sport yoga pants and t-shirts all day. Whatever the case, I get extra excited to be home with my kids, be super mom, super wife and super home-maker. 

Monday comes and goes, I go to work, maybe see a friend or squeeze in a workout and then go to bed. 

But then, Tuesday happens. Sometimes on Tuesdays I have something planned. Like grocery shopping or going to a friends. But if I DON'T have something planned, inevitably O will ask ALL day when we are going out, whose house we are going to.... Is Bomp coming over?? And I have a to-do list the length of my arm but can't seem to accomplish anything. Then quiet time comes and instead of being productive, I collapse onto the couch. Then quiet time ends and the all-day nagging for Paw Patrol finally wears me down just so I can have twenty minutes to get something done or enjoy the quiet upstairs. I have often thought that these days require a pulling out your hair emoji. (And my friend texted me that she needed one the other day so I know I'm not alone in this.) Tuesday knocks the wind right out of my super woman sails and I'm left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like a failure right before I'm supposed to go and do ministry at youth. Without fail, almost every Tuesday!! 

It was then I realized that maybe this was a tactful approach for someone who didn't want me to be effective in ministry . Who didn't want the word or truth of God to be proclaimed with clarity and without hesitation. And I've resolved to start covering Tuesday and Thursday and Friday and everyday in prayer. I would say a quick "give us a good day" prayer in the morning but rarely pray in the midst of my frustration. I want to BE the mom I want my kids to remember. And I always feel like I'll never attain that ideal Proverbs 31 status. 

I was walking with Jordan yesterday and said something I'd never said before. 

"I often forget that I'm doing my best."

The you-are-your-harshest-critic thing is VERY true here in my mind. I don't give myself grace and therefore it's so hard to extend that to my boys or husband. I don't necessarily like putting stuff like this out there because then people can hold me to it ... But I do want to do this whole thing better. And I know the only way to do that is through the Lord and his strength. It's a matter of mind meeting heart on this one. I know truth in my head but my heart is a little slow to catch up. And as I'm always teaching my youth girls: it's a matter of heart!! 

I need to give up on my super woman tendencies and start aiming for grace and tenderness and love. 

So ... Would my words be gracious and my reactions be loving.  Even when I'm being hounded for Paw Patrol every minute of the day. (Insert pulling out hair emoji here)