my evolution to "that hippie mom" {an earthy mom post}

Otherwise titled: "Who AM I??" 

When I was pregnant with O, we lived in a fourth-floor walk-up condo and I had very set opinions when it came to what kind of mom I would be. 

"Disposable diapers ALL THE WAY! I'm not trucking down two flights of stairs to wash my kid's dirty diapers. That's a) disgusting and b) WAY too much work!"

"Baby wearing confuses me. And it's kind of weird." 

"Buy ALL OF THE BABY PRODUCTS!" 

And it worked for us then. I probably wouldn't have stuck with cloth diapering and I felt like I held O way too much so wearing him wasn't really appealing. That was a different time, a different mind set. And I'll be honest - every time I nursed him I dreamt of bottle and formula feeding - just for a little bit of freedom. 

And I went into my pregnancy with M having the same convictions and opinions. But slowly, I was changing. 

It started with essential oils. A friend, also my boss, used them and we shared an office so I would constantly be hearing about how amazing they were, how they worked for this problem and that ailment. She invited me to go to an information night and I agreed, all the while telling Jordan how "hippie-dippy" this was and how could anyone ever spend that kind of money on something so hokey. 

Well. I had to eat my words coming home that night after buying the Family Starter Pack. Yeah. Turns out I love them. And they do work. They got me through those hard few weeks post-partum (along with other natural supplements and multivitamins) and helped with my kids' coughs and stuffy noses. Before I knew it, I was mixing up concoctions for my family to help with skin problems and other afflictions. I'm THAT woman. 

Once I had M, I realized that I didn't have enough hands, feet, extremities, to handle two children. O still needed a lot of attention and M would scream if I even THOUGHT of putting him down. (The horror!) So, I called my mom, we loaded up into her van and took our circus on the road to the local au-natural mama shop where I got a very detailed and informed lesson in baby-wearing and I bought a wrap carrier so I could have two hands and get things done while still snuggling my baby. And I loved it. A lot. We wore M a lot up until he was about 5 months when he got too big for it, so we've switched to a Bjorn until we learn a new carry position for bigger babies. (This wrap can go up to like 30 pounds and you can carry your baby on your back! How legit is that?!) But I still swear by baby wearing when it comes to grocery shopping with two kids. I honestly don't know what I would do without my carriers! 

Then came the cloth diapers. I was at Wal-Mart picking up {ANOTHER} box of diapers fort M and I looked at the price (admittedly, for the first time in a while) ... $40!!! I had to buy them, my baby needs diapers. How can Huggies charge me such an exorbitant amount of money for something required to take care of my child? Times two (because, yes, I have yet to potty train O ...)!! So the next time I saw my mother-in-law I interrogated her on cloth diapering. And after she gave me tons of info, she lent me hers. I was so nervous but hesitantly I started. And I fell in love. I can't even tell you why I love it so much. I just find it so fun. I love how M looks in only a cloth diaper and I wash them and happily stuff them every three days or so. I liked it so much I bought my own (in a different province, my BFF did the deal for me) and am just so excited to keep doing it. O won't wear them because they don't "feel" right but he's almost done (hopefully) with Pampers. But M is going to sport Bum Genius for as long as he'll let me. Plus. I put coconut oil on him instead of diaper rash cream. Yeah. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about, people. 

And to top it all off - I've been getting my kicks pinning garden ideas for this summer so I can plant a vegetable garden and "live off the land". Since when do I have a desire to plant ANYthing? 

Like I said ... WHO AM I? You guys. What's next for me? 

fiesta! {a party post}

My sister turned 21 this month. Twenty-one. Big year. 

I threw her a little fiesta one Sunday afternoon for a (gluten-free, dairy-free) lunch while my boys had a siesta. (See what I did there?) 

I sent invitations {in the mail!} and I was so excited about them. 

Then, the day after I dropped them in the mail box, I realized I put the wrong year on them AND forgot to put the location. Thank goodness for texting. #tiredmombrain 

Court wanted it to be simple ... I tried, I really did, but I just love details. So I collected jars and cans for eclectic flower vases, made a fringe banner and a flower crown for the birthday girl out of dollar store flora and fauna (just kidding, no small animals). I used a blanket that friends brought back from Peru and covered it with a clear cover for the table cloth. 

I had planned a lunch that was good for all the guests. But an hour before they were all set to arrive, the power went out! They all arrived and we decided to get gluten free pizza. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as Liz stepped out the door to go get it, the power was back! So I got to do my original meal:

Haystacks (with avocado-mango salsa)

Chips & guacamole (used Epicure guac mix)

Chile Chocolate Avocado Mousse

Strawberry Agua-Fresca 

Heavy on the avocados, I realized after I bought all the groceries. 

But it turned out okay. 

I also MAY have gone a little overboard on the gift wrap too. It involved a glue gun and left over flora. But it was so PREEEETTY!! 

Any way. It was super fun to do ... Even though I always get a little stressed before hosting people. I don't know why. But I feel bad for Jordan. He's right - it always turns out fine. 

Happy birthday to my little seeester. 

OLÉ!! 

sit {a quick post, as is any kind of sitting in this house}

I'm posting this today from my bed, under my covers, in the dark, in the middle of the day. I just woke up from a nap because - happy dance - the boys finally fell asleep at around the same time.

It's been one of those days ... Okay, weeks ... Where I've had a ton of "I can't do this" moments. I don't know why (I don't even really know how to define "this") but that very vague thought crosses my mind often. I know it's meant to ruin me, to test me and to convince me that a lie is true and that makes me even more tired than I already am. Battles of the mind are tricky ones and today, more than anything I just wanted a break from the crying and whining ... Oh, and that of the boys too! 

But right before nap time, we were all just hanging out in the living room. I love it in there because the sun comes in our big window and lights up an otherwise dim place. It's peaceful and sparse (as much as it can be with babies and toddlers around) and I was sitting there cross-legged just enjoying being with my babes. I snapped a picture because I wanted to remember that there truly are moments where I CAN do this. Where I enjoy this quickly passing time that everyone talks about but that some days can also feel like I'm trudging through molasses with a baby strapped to me and a two year old around my leg asking for treats. Even if it's not glitz and glam like all those Instagram accounts I follow (why do I do that to myself?) it's our tiny little adventure and I truly want to do it well. So maybe this is just a reminder to myself to sit ... To stop running around all the time and just drive toy cars over M's tummy or load them onto the trailer for O. And to keep fighting the battle, as hard as it may be, because it's worth it in the end.  

I'm just thankful for times to recharge {in the dark in the middle of the day} and hit the refresh button. Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP for nap time? I think we can all agree - it's the bomb-dot-com. 

terrariums {a "green thumb" post}

I've been seeing terrariums all over Pinterest these days and thought they looked so beautiful. After reading a couple tutorials on building your own, I decided it would be easy enough. So. I loaded up my boys and off to the Rona garden center we went! 

I got one of those cool carts that looks like a car but is pretty much impossible to steer, especially through the tiny garden center aisles. 

I found succulents and cacti and some soil that said "cactus" on it but that's where my success stopped. Charcoal was listed as a MUST as was sand and I couldn't find either. I was late for dinner at my parents' so I took my cacti, checked out and headed off, thinking I'd be back to find my charcoal. 

Well. Let me tell you. After two more trips (both Jordan and I went looking) I was feeling like my cacti were a waste of money. 

I did a bit more research and found out that I'd been looking in the wrong spot all along. Charcoal can be found at ... Wait for it ... 

THE PET STORE. Are. You. Kidding. Me. 

So I whipped over to Petsmart and found it all - charcoal (cleverly disguised as carbon), sand, moss. Everything a girl could want to build a terrarium. 

I had the rocks and fish bowls at home. Should have checked the size of the fishbowls first. But it worked out OK. Jordan and I built three tonight while catching up on Blue Bloods and even though they're not exactly what I was envisioning, they're pretty cute. We will have to do the other two another time when we have another container but for now I'm so happy to have some live greenery in my house. It adds something special in the middle of winter. 

However, our basement carpet now needs a super good vacuum! 

 

bag dump {a full on mom post}

Having two kids is going better than expected. I'm not a total mess (although I do have my days...) and O adapted pretty well to having M around. But boy oh boy do they need a lot of stuff. Especially both being in diapers.

One thing that I really love is having a well-stocked diaper bag. I have some essentials and some things that are nice to have. But with two kids there's a lot more to "stock" in there. So today I'm opening my diaper bag for all to see. I'll give you my "must-haves" and fill you in on the products I like best (not that I'm any sort of expert). Plus - who doesn't like seeing inside someone else's bag? I know I do. We're all snoops. Just admit it. 

My diaper bag is full to the brim - so much so that I'm wondering if I need a bigger one. Is that ok? To buy a bigger bag for more stuff? Or do I cut down on stuff? I'm a chronic over-packer so cutting down on the stuff I haul around scares me a little. We'll see ... I have a feeling the bigger bag will win out. Jordan even said I could get this one by Lily Jade. I'm undecided if it's worth the investment. Anyway. 

First off - a good bag that you will like toting everywhere. Mine is Coach (a gift from Jordan after O was born) and is pretty basic. Big pocket inside with a few little side pockets plus the two bottle holders on the outside. Does the job. 

Diapers & wipes (obviously) - Dollarama sells those Pampers 20-pack of wipes for $1.25!! I always pack WAY more diapers than I need. Maybe that's OK. 

Nursing cover, burp cloth & receiving blanket. My nursing cover is Bebe au Lait and I just use receiving blankets from Wal-Mart. I like the Bebe au Lait because it has the wire around the top so you can see what's going on in there without having to lift the cover. Very helpful for those first few weeks. 

Swaddling blanket - I always have an Aiden and Anais swaddler with me for on-the-go napping. I prefer the bamboo ones for the diaper bag because they are less stiff and take up less room than the regular muslin ones that I use at home. 

Change of clothes and drool bib for M. Just something simple in case of emergency (read: blowout). The drool bib was a gift and is Mom's Care. They come in packs of three and are SO cute. Right now it's nice to put one on M when we are out and other people are holding him - they catch spit-up really well! 

Water bottle & snacks for O. This. Is. Crucial. I cannot go anywhere without him asking for a snack. I usually bring the trifecta: yogurt covered raisins, granola bar & an apple sauce squeeze pack.  That will usually get us through a grocery shop. 

Baby Tylenol. Because that stuff rules. I should have bought stocks in it before having kids. And you never know when someone will be in need. 

Lip balm & gum. I usually do a three-point check before leaving the house. Teeth brushed? Make-up on? Deodorant? And, let's be real, I'm usually missing one of them. These little guys help me in time crunches! 

Sock-bun Donut. A gift from my sister in law. But again. Sometimes you just can't get everything in before leaving the house. This is basically a quick, pulled together hair-do on the go! 

Wallet & coupons (in the grey pouch). I'm just starting with the coupons but I think it'll come in handy for those times where we need to grab something quick. 

Mommy hook. This thing is a life saver. Go get one, even if you aren't a mom! 

Pens. They play a plethera of roles. But it's important to carry at least one! 

Hand sanitizer. (Again - obvious.) 

Extra soothers (in the soother pouch). For times when you lose THE one (or a friend needs one ... Had that happen before). 

Not pictured: bags for dirty diapers when you're not by a proper disposal site. Essential. And a changing pad. And band-aids. 

There you have it! Everything I take with me on a daily basis. If you ever need something - I probably have it! 

don't worry. {a lesson from the change table}

I had just fed the baby. I had changed the baby. I was trying to draft some semblance of a grocery list at the kitchen island while the baby contentedly gnawed on his hands in the swing in the living room. My two year old was happily emptying all his plastic cutlery into my kitchen aid mixer. (Where do they come up with this stuff?!) I felt a bit of peace in the day after what felt like an eternity of crying and bouncing and Curious George. All of a sudden the screaming started - I tried at first to ignore but it got more persistent so I went to the swing and swept him up in my arms. I immediately knew he was due for another diaper change. As I carried him to the change table set up in his room, with him crying all the louder, I whispered "I know what you need. Don't worry. I'll take care of you. You don't need to ever worry. Mom's got it all taken care of." I was kind of taken aback when those words resonated deep within my own heart. 

I often scream and kick and throw a fit when I need something from God. But I forget he already knows what I need and He's got it taken care of. I shouldn't doubt for a second that He will give me exactly what I need when I need it. Even in this season of life where I'm tired and exhausted and totally wiped when I wake up each morning, God knows what I need and He carries me. I've made it through two months already. I get overwhelmed when I think about the future, the next few months seem like a do-over I don't really want - baby life isn't exactly my favourite. But He carried me once, He'll do it again. It's so easy to forget but I want that truth to stick with me - to allow the peace of the Lord to settle in my heart and mind even in the times I think He's not hearing me. He is. May I rest in that truth. 

waiting {a post on patience and trust and contentment}

I wrote this post on Tuesday after a particularly hard night. I've been sitting on it all week, unsure if I should post it & making sure my heart still was aligned with what I said at the end. I still feel confident putting this out there as the desire of my heart. It's not for sympathy. Just want to record what God (and my husband) have been impressing on me in the waiting. 

It's been 46 days. Our condo has been sitting on the market for forty-six days. We've had five showings. 

Today I am 34 weeks pregnant with our second child. 

That means we have approximately six weeks to sell this condo and buy a new place. 

I'm stressed. I'm anxious. I'm feeling hopeless. 

I keep going over how we'll make it work if we don't sell on time. I cry when I think about it. We live in a fourth-floor walk-up. I know it's such a typical #firstworldproblems situation. But I still can't stop crying. Maybe it's the hormones. Yes. We'll say it's the hormones. 

I sat on my couch this morning after another sleepless night staring down at my Bible, frantically searching for some sort of reassurance from The Lord. My eyes and brain weren't connecting to the pages.

You know how stuff around your house gets so familiar that you barely notice it anymore? I made a wall hanging a few years ago that quotes a favourite verse from Habakkuk:

"Yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." (3:18)

I glanced up and noticed it, for the first time in a while. YET. Yet. Three little letters with powerful gusto behind them. Jordan's been trying to tell me how I need to trust that things will work out. I've asked "How?" more times than I care to admit on the internet. I know God cares for his children - I know the promises of the Bible and the command to trust and to throw your anxieties on Him. But it's taking a lot of convincing my heart to truly believe. 

It's time for my head and my heart to connect. Timing isn't an issue for God. He's done a lot more amazing things than getting families moved out of their house "on time". 

I breathe in. I breathe out. I can't control who comes to see our place or when it will sell. But I can be content and joyful despite stressful circumstances. That's totally in my control because The Lord of my salvation has promised to take care of us. 

I will still hope for a quick sale and that we can find a new place before baby arrives - as unlikely as that seems - but I can't let this control my joy. It will be a daily decision but I want to learn how to do that well. I know it won't be an overnight transformation but my heart is open to change.