coffee + comrades {a mom-friend post}

A friend & I just started reading through a book together. (I like doing this with friends - I am going through a different book with a different friend and it’s wonderful. It gives you something deeper to talk about & helps focus a conversation instead of having tons of time for me to just talk - which can end badly, I’ve found lately.)
Anyway, this particular book is about motherhood - the ups & downs but mostly about how Jesus changes you. About how all of this - the messy, the beautiful, the hard - is all for His glory. That’s a difficult thing to wrap my head around. How I can change a diaper & give glory to God. How I can wake up - again - in the middle of the night to administer Tylenol & soothe someone back to sleep after a bad dream to glorify God. It doesn’t seem like the kind of Kingdom work I had imagined as a follower of Christ. But it is. And even if it doesn’t always seem like it - it’s important. I read through this book once already in the fall but it has proved to be one that I can keep coming back to & be refreshed and spurred on. I wanted to bring a friend along for the ride and when I asked - she was quick to jump right in! Woo!
So, I rolled up this morning after school drop-off, we sat at her kitchen table, she poured me an enormous cup of fresh coffee and we chatted about what we liked in the first chapter, what challenged us, how we see this playing out (or having had played out) in our day to day lives. My daughter had two dirty diapers throughout the course of the morning, our boys wanted snacks and we had to fight to keep ourselves on track. But we did it! We got through our first “book club” meeting and had a good conversation (as far as mom conversations go)! We were able to challenge and encourage one another and I was just so dang proud of us for DOING it. Sometimes it feels like having deeper friendships is close to impossible when your kids are little. But man. It’s important. I don’t know what I would do without my friends - mom and not - in these years of wiping noses, diapers and LEGO creations. All the stereotypes are real but I’m so thankful for a community around me who does not settle for commiseration but pushes for Christlikeness as we persevere together.
Really, what I’m trying to say is that I’m just thankful. For friends, for Jesus, and for coffee. It’s a wild ride but it’s teaching & growing me and I am grateful that God gives me comrades on the journey.

This is the book I’m talking about.
Go to their website here.
They also have a podcast!
(This is not an ad - I just REALLY love their ministry to moms!)

donuts + dad-birthdays {a “secret”celebration post}

Today was Jordan’s birthday.
He doesn’t like to be celebrated.
I ignore his wishes pretty much every year.
I mean, it’s probably just a facade that he’s putting on. I’d bet anything. That he, my quiet, introverted husband actually secretly LOVES being the center of attention and is just so delighted when I make a fuss over him for his birthday. Even though he says “it’s just another day”. Don’t believe that for a second.
At least ... that’s what I tell myself when I not-so-secretly try to surprise him for his birthday. I’m sure he’s just overjoyed ...
His birthday weekend also happens to fall on Super Bowl weekend and I forget this pretty much every year as well. So confused about why his friends aren’t able to come hang out with us until one of them clues me in. “I have super bowl plans, sorry!” Riiiiight. I TOTALLY knew that. I usually forge ahead and plan one thing or another.
But ... I worked today & the boys had their once a week sports class so we rolled up to the house right before bedtime & I presented Jordan with Everyday Kitchen donuts as a humble birthday offering. (If you live where I live and don’t know about The Everyday Kitchen or haven’t tried their donuts - drop everything. Go now. Your life will change. I’m serious.) (Ranking from today’s donuts: 3 - Nutella, 2 - Salted Caramel, 1 - Strawberry Cheesecake) (See what I mean? They’re better than they sound.)
We split three between the five of us and it was a perfect little birthday celebration before the kids hit the hay (sugaaarrr craaaashhh).
Now we are watching NCIS & eating chips & that’s probably Jordan’s dream birthday anyway.
Cheers to being in our 30’s & truly loving  low-key birthdays!! We know how to party! 🎉🍩

Sunday {a baby fashion + resolution post}

Every Sunday I am sitting in church and I get this overwhelming sense of determination for the week. I don't know if it's just because my heart is focused on what's true and right and I'm not entertaining thoughts of failure but I feel like I can just go out and conquer whatever comes my way in the next few days. Or maybe it's because I always put a little extra into my Sunday look ... I've always thought it was important ... So I feel better about myself rather than the days where I sport yoga pants and t-shirts all day. Whatever the case, I get extra excited to be home with my kids, be super mom, super wife and super home-maker. 

Monday comes and goes, I go to work, maybe see a friend or squeeze in a workout and then go to bed. 

But then, Tuesday happens. Sometimes on Tuesdays I have something planned. Like grocery shopping or going to a friends. But if I DON'T have something planned, inevitably O will ask ALL day when we are going out, whose house we are going to.... Is Bomp coming over?? And I have a to-do list the length of my arm but can't seem to accomplish anything. Then quiet time comes and instead of being productive, I collapse onto the couch. Then quiet time ends and the all-day nagging for Paw Patrol finally wears me down just so I can have twenty minutes to get something done or enjoy the quiet upstairs. I have often thought that these days require a pulling out your hair emoji. (And my friend texted me that she needed one the other day so I know I'm not alone in this.) Tuesday knocks the wind right out of my super woman sails and I'm left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like a failure right before I'm supposed to go and do ministry at youth. Without fail, almost every Tuesday!! 

It was then I realized that maybe this was a tactful approach for someone who didn't want me to be effective in ministry . Who didn't want the word or truth of God to be proclaimed with clarity and without hesitation. And I've resolved to start covering Tuesday and Thursday and Friday and everyday in prayer. I would say a quick "give us a good day" prayer in the morning but rarely pray in the midst of my frustration. I want to BE the mom I want my kids to remember. And I always feel like I'll never attain that ideal Proverbs 31 status. 

I was walking with Jordan yesterday and said something I'd never said before. 

"I often forget that I'm doing my best."

The you-are-your-harshest-critic thing is VERY true here in my mind. I don't give myself grace and therefore it's so hard to extend that to my boys or husband. I don't necessarily like putting stuff like this out there because then people can hold me to it ... But I do want to do this whole thing better. And I know the only way to do that is through the Lord and his strength. It's a matter of mind meeting heart on this one. I know truth in my head but my heart is a little slow to catch up. And as I'm always teaching my youth girls: it's a matter of heart!! 

I need to give up on my super woman tendencies and start aiming for grace and tenderness and love. 

So ... Would my words be gracious and my reactions be loving.  Even when I'm being hounded for Paw Patrol every minute of the day. (Insert pulling out hair emoji here)

Maverick's Room {a work-in-progress post}

When Oakley was born, we brought him home to a fully furnished, beautifully designed, well-thought-out nursery. When we brought Mav home,  he slept in a laundry basket beside my bed for a month because his room was full of junk. I had pinned tons of inspiration pictures for his woodland themed nursery but we had just moved and I was a tad overwhelmed with two kids. 

Slowly, over time, I have added little details and organization and most of the junk is gone, or put in its rightful spot in our house, finally. It's still not 100% done but I was in there today and thought - "it's pretty cute in here". So here are just a few pictures of Mav's nursery. 

This is the norm lately - him crawling away from the camera! I can't seem to get him to sit still long enough! 

Just a short tour but hopefully things come together before his birthday ... Which is in a month! Ah! Time went fast. 

refreshed {a post from my mommy heart}

"But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

It's been a long couple of months for this mama. We are down to one vehicle because my husband got in an accident (not his fault ... He's okay!) back in early spring with our second vehicle, which we were actually borrowing from his parents, and is a whole other level of unfortunate, but something that doesn't need to be hashed out here. He leaves early in the morning and is off right as nap time ends so, all this to say, I'm at home all day, every day, without a car. At first it was exciting and refreshing, it was nice to have an excuse to stay home, rest, get stuff done. But now I'm all "get me OUTTA here!!" Being one-on-two with a toddler and baby is fun, exhausting and sometimes completely draining. I know that this motherhood thing is a calling of honour, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly but some days I'm just done with it, to be frank and completely honest. I work one day a week outside the home and it's been good but it's also been hard. I feel torn between two worlds, where I'm needed differently in each but one is so much more important and eternal.

I often hit the pillow at night thinking one or all of these things:

1 - WHEN does this get easier? 

2 - HOW do I do this better?

3 - is it even worth it to sleep? I could get so much done between now and M's first wake-up ... (I usually do decide to sleep, which is wise, since I turn into the Wicked Witch of the West when I'm low on sleep. Also a contributing factor to the whole weariness in motherhood thing?)

Tonight we got home from work, fed the kids and got them to bed ... All I wanted to do was collapse on the couch and watch ... The show I've been binge watching lately ... (it's Reba, okay? Don't judge me.) but I was drawn outside to my deck where the air was a wonderful temperature and I could sip tea without feeling hot or it going cold right away. I lit my citronella candle (because the mosquitoes this year are like BIRDS - seriously. They. Are. Huge!!) and opened my Bible. I usually do my quiet time during the boys' nap but evenings are a lot more relaxed because I know that, usually, they are down for a good stretch unlike nap time which is becoming increasingly unpredictable these days! And on Wednesdays I obviously am not home for nap time, I'm usually knee deep in some possession day prep for next week's turnovers around that time. 

I didn't read anything that spoke to any of my specific "issues" right now or seemed like a perfect fit for what I'm "going through" (side note, I went to hear a missionary from Africa speak last Saturday ... I don't feel like I can seriously say I'm going through anything when there aren't huge poisonous snakes lurking outside my house ...) but I finished the book I was reading and felt refreshed. Like a breath of air had filled up my weak and collapsed lungs and I was ready for the next couple days of being at home until Jordan gets home for the weekend. I was just so thankful that God's Word can do that, breathe life into dry and weary bones ... Even when you're not searching for anything in particular. Thank goodness He knows what I need. And this isn't to say that I've got this thing cased or won't ever fall into a slump or feel weary of persisting on in this mom life. But I feel confident in my God who will strengthen me and renew me when I just can't go on by myself. He's faithful and even though right now I can't see where He's going or taking me with this part of my life, I know that He is trustworthy. 

A few weeks ago I was reading during my quiet time after a particularly awful morning with my kids and he brought me to this verse in Galatians, which has become my theme verse and is the background on my phone as a constant reminder:

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." 6:9

Trying to remind myself to not give up, it'll be worth it in the end. Another thing I've decided to start doing is keeping a gratitude journal, to keep my perspective and focus in the right spot. 

Today, I am so grateful for:

My support system of amazing family and wonderful friends. I always have someone to turn to when I'm feeling down or need a listening ear. I truly do have a village to raise these boys and I am so thankful. 

For times of refreshment on my deck after bedtime. 

And for a sweet little snippet of time to blog about it too ;) 

my evolution to "that hippie mom" {an earthy mom post}

Otherwise titled: "Who AM I??" 

When I was pregnant with O, we lived in a fourth-floor walk-up condo and I had very set opinions when it came to what kind of mom I would be. 

"Disposable diapers ALL THE WAY! I'm not trucking down two flights of stairs to wash my kid's dirty diapers. That's a) disgusting and b) WAY too much work!"

"Baby wearing confuses me. And it's kind of weird." 

"Buy ALL OF THE BABY PRODUCTS!" 

And it worked for us then. I probably wouldn't have stuck with cloth diapering and I felt like I held O way too much so wearing him wasn't really appealing. That was a different time, a different mind set. And I'll be honest - every time I nursed him I dreamt of bottle and formula feeding - just for a little bit of freedom. 

And I went into my pregnancy with M having the same convictions and opinions. But slowly, I was changing. 

It started with essential oils. A friend, also my boss, used them and we shared an office so I would constantly be hearing about how amazing they were, how they worked for this problem and that ailment. She invited me to go to an information night and I agreed, all the while telling Jordan how "hippie-dippy" this was and how could anyone ever spend that kind of money on something so hokey. 

Well. I had to eat my words coming home that night after buying the Family Starter Pack. Yeah. Turns out I love them. And they do work. They got me through those hard few weeks post-partum (along with other natural supplements and multivitamins) and helped with my kids' coughs and stuffy noses. Before I knew it, I was mixing up concoctions for my family to help with skin problems and other afflictions. I'm THAT woman. 

Once I had M, I realized that I didn't have enough hands, feet, extremities, to handle two children. O still needed a lot of attention and M would scream if I even THOUGHT of putting him down. (The horror!) So, I called my mom, we loaded up into her van and took our circus on the road to the local au-natural mama shop where I got a very detailed and informed lesson in baby-wearing and I bought a wrap carrier so I could have two hands and get things done while still snuggling my baby. And I loved it. A lot. We wore M a lot up until he was about 5 months when he got too big for it, so we've switched to a Bjorn until we learn a new carry position for bigger babies. (This wrap can go up to like 30 pounds and you can carry your baby on your back! How legit is that?!) But I still swear by baby wearing when it comes to grocery shopping with two kids. I honestly don't know what I would do without my carriers! 

Then came the cloth diapers. I was at Wal-Mart picking up {ANOTHER} box of diapers fort M and I looked at the price (admittedly, for the first time in a while) ... $40!!! I had to buy them, my baby needs diapers. How can Huggies charge me such an exorbitant amount of money for something required to take care of my child? Times two (because, yes, I have yet to potty train O ...)!! So the next time I saw my mother-in-law I interrogated her on cloth diapering. And after she gave me tons of info, she lent me hers. I was so nervous but hesitantly I started. And I fell in love. I can't even tell you why I love it so much. I just find it so fun. I love how M looks in only a cloth diaper and I wash them and happily stuff them every three days or so. I liked it so much I bought my own (in a different province, my BFF did the deal for me) and am just so excited to keep doing it. O won't wear them because they don't "feel" right but he's almost done (hopefully) with Pampers. But M is going to sport Bum Genius for as long as he'll let me. Plus. I put coconut oil on him instead of diaper rash cream. Yeah. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about, people. 

And to top it all off - I've been getting my kicks pinning garden ideas for this summer so I can plant a vegetable garden and "live off the land". Since when do I have a desire to plant ANYthing? 

Like I said ... WHO AM I? You guys. What's next for me? 

fiesta! {a party post}

My sister turned 21 this month. Twenty-one. Big year. 

I threw her a little fiesta one Sunday afternoon for a (gluten-free, dairy-free) lunch while my boys had a siesta. (See what I did there?) 

I sent invitations {in the mail!} and I was so excited about them. 

Then, the day after I dropped them in the mail box, I realized I put the wrong year on them AND forgot to put the location. Thank goodness for texting. #tiredmombrain 

Court wanted it to be simple ... I tried, I really did, but I just love details. So I collected jars and cans for eclectic flower vases, made a fringe banner and a flower crown for the birthday girl out of dollar store flora and fauna (just kidding, no small animals). I used a blanket that friends brought back from Peru and covered it with a clear cover for the table cloth. 

I had planned a lunch that was good for all the guests. But an hour before they were all set to arrive, the power went out! They all arrived and we decided to get gluten free pizza. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as Liz stepped out the door to go get it, the power was back! So I got to do my original meal:

Haystacks (with avocado-mango salsa)

Chips & guacamole (used Epicure guac mix)

Chile Chocolate Avocado Mousse

Strawberry Agua-Fresca 

Heavy on the avocados, I realized after I bought all the groceries. 

But it turned out okay. 

I also MAY have gone a little overboard on the gift wrap too. It involved a glue gun and left over flora. But it was so PREEEETTY!! 

Any way. It was super fun to do ... Even though I always get a little stressed before hosting people. I don't know why. But I feel bad for Jordan. He's right - it always turns out fine. 

Happy birthday to my little seeester. 

OLÉ!!